You’ve likely heard phrases about ‘facing fears’. It has always seemed to me to be a title of some modern book, stuck there along with following your heart and being you, but still like everyone else. But then come moments when fears come colliding before you and you’re faced with the decision of doing nothing or something, and it was such a time that I realized it really does speak truth. There really seems no way to conquer fear if you do not first prove to yourself that it is not worth fearing, that we have a God that is stronger. We can never completely escape fear, but there is a difference between the kind of fear that consumes the soul and the kind that brings pain but is filled with peace, peace because we have a solid Rock to stand on. Even when the storm about us rages, the Rock never moves.
We have to make so many decisions every single day. I have two friends, in fact, who may tell you the world is made up of decisions, which is partially true. It is so easy to get caught up in them, because they change the life around us. I don`t like to rush into my decisions, and I often even cherish pondering both sides, that is, until I have to decide at a quick moment, and then I get flustered. The thing that has become most apparently clear to me is once a decision is made, stick to it. No matter how people shove, beg, or bribe you. There are times for exception to this, but be confident in your conclusion. Weigh both sides, decide, and be confident in that decision. I have wilted far too many moments in my day simply because I could not decide, and once I did, questioned my decision and was insecure about it. Move on and don’t look back.
What I have realized about going is that I`m not spectacular at it. There has never been anything wrong with that; you can stay home, read a book, write a story, take a walk with your family, and not even feel guilty about it. But, there is also a time to go. What my mom reminds me to think about is who is there that may need me. It is easy to get trapped in the self-mode, ‘I don`t feel like it’, ‘I don’t want to’. There seems a constant need to say, “Maybe it’s not about me.”
“The world says: “You have needs — satisfy them. You have as much right as the rich and the mighty. Don’t hesitate to satisfy your needs; indeed, expand your needs and demand more.” This is the worldly doctrine of today. And they believe that this is freedom. The result for the rich is isolation and suicide, for the poor, envy and murder.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov