Failing

on

 Have you ever been the one left behind? You feel as though you are the one person in the entire group who is feeling it. But, is that really true?

Sometimes we keep all our pain to ourselves. We wonder what is wrong with us. What if we all are keeping it to ourselves? What if someone else has the same thing troubling them? We all feel insecure at times, but what if no one says anything about it? We all sometimes think that something is wrong with us; we tell ourselves that so many times that we begin to believe that we are complete misfits, that we`re the only ones with any troubles. I`m not saying to tell the whole world everything that`s bothering you, only that you may not be alone. So stop wondering what is wrong with you.

My parents have been gone these last few days. I often find that the house is wrapped in a blanket of utter silence; my thoughts grow louder than any other sound about me. I often talk to myself. It`s rather a habit of mine; I wonder if I will ever lose it, but I somehow doubt it. Sometimes I read. But when I read for a long time I feel useless and often when I come out from that world, I feel discontent with the real one I`m in.  Sometimes chores help, but then I almost feel as though it isn`t ‘big enough.’ But why? Why can`t the small things be enough for my day? Why do I feel as though I have to climb a mountain to accomplish anything real? It`s as though I have set a line too high to leap over, but now that I have set it I can`t get rid of it. Even though I know the truth, my emotions pull me down just the same. Doubtful Brother`s Solution made a video mentioning ‘wasted days’; it made me realize that I really wasn`t the only one. It lightened my point of view because I knew that it wasn`t some disfiguration of my own.

I know that sometimes life gets rough. Things do hurt. But today we can take a step forward, simply to realize that we`re not the only ones. In fact, there are even others in more pain than us at this moment. Everything in the world becomes brighter when it is not all about us.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Beautiful thoughts. We humans get really good at faking it, but we all have times of feeling like nothing we’re doing matters, times of anxiety and fear. Yup, I experience all of those emotions on a fairly regular basis. Just remember that you’re not the only one! 🙂

    Like

    1. Sarah says:

      Thanks Andrew. I do believe you understand this. 😉

      Like

  2. Timothy says:

    A good read, Sarah! …and yes, it is hard having high standards. One of the things that I’ve learned from my travels is how terrible the other side can be though. I’ve met people who don’t really care about anything but their latest obsession, they’ve deadened themselves so much. I think that feeling can guide us towards something better, as long as we don’t just try to avoid it. Embrace the bad feels, they’re a better thing than you think. 🙂

    Like

    1. Sarah says:

      Thank you Timothy. You have quite a valid point; I`m glad you mentioned it. I believe you could easily swing in either direction. As long as we learn to control getting things done somewhat, then I wouldn`t want myself any other way. Amazing what a bit of perspective can do!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s