Be Still

on

I sat in a group of people the other day, but I was not in their conversation. I was there, but then again I wasn`t. I felt swallowed up in a bubble of silence, gone from the real society. I felt dead to the world.

I wonder what`s wrong with me. Why I am so quiet? But when I hear advice I rebel against it. That`s not what I want to hear! So I don`t listen. I refuse good advice and wallow deeper into the mud of self-pity. ( Self-pity is hard. Bethany has some wonderful thoughts.) Into a world where I convince myself that I should change.

Is this you? Do you look into this mirror and see yourself? Stop where you are in this crooked path. Don`t listen to the world screaming in your ear. Listen for the gentle wind of God to speak to you. He tells you that you are redeemed, chosen. You did not happen by chance, he decided to create you exactly the way you are. So be still.

Greater is the one living inside of me, than He who is living in the world.

1 John 4:4

( Bart Millard)

This thought has lingered with me, I`m never going to get to ‘the spot’, the place where all my troubles talking to people are mysteriously gone. If you constantly look at it as a journey and think you`ll reach the perfect place in your life, it doesn`t work. The only perfect world is heaven.

An overwhelming lie plants itself in souls, that you are here and God is over there. But really he is right next to you. He doesn`t leave you to anguish in yourself. He is cheering you on and holding you hand. You don`t slowly build yourself up to please God and fall back down when you sin, your sins are forgiven right here and now. You may have consequences from that sin, but God is the best forgiver there ever was and He is ready for you.

Stop thinking you’re the only one. If you inspect the world closely you`ll realize the whole world is insecure. You look around in a room and everyone looks so confidant. But you`re not alone. So many people are right where you are. Feeling alone.

I get caught up in everyone who doesn`t hear me and forget all the people who do. I am uber blessed with so many glorious friends. They love me for me, and I love them. Find people that you don`t have to act around, you can be yourself. Don`t look at the ‘popular’ group because most likely you won`t be in that certain group, but find a group that you feel comfortable around. Then try to be open for others to join.

Do not conform yourself to this world. All you`ll get is a twisted personality shooting up in every which direction. Be yourself, because that`s how God made you, yes, just like you. You want to be that perfect person who always has the best things to say, but that`s not you. You aren`t supposed to be like that person. Imagine if every single person was exactly alike. Every personality is so unique, and they would all be lost in a monotonous world.

Finally, be still. You are not the one steering the ride, all you have to do it let go of yourself and fly on the wind of trust.

Be still and know that I am God.

Psalms 46:10

The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.

Exodus 14:14

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Sonia says:

    Oh, sweet Sarah! I have been there SO many times before. It takes a while to become comfortable with silence, to be okay with knowing that you do best talking one-on-one rather that is a raucous (really fun-looking!) group.
    And, strangely enough, once you become comfortable thriving with your strengths, it becomes a lot easier to step out into those uncomfortable situations and thrive there as well.
    If you haven’t read it already, please read “Quiet” by Susan Cain. It helped me finally embrace my introvert strengths, rather than feel broken when trying to fit into an extrovert strengths set.

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    1. Sarah says:

      Sonia, thank you so much for your comforting words. Even though I know other people are in this same situations it`s hard to see it. 🙂 It gives me hope.
      Thank you, I know we ordered that book but I haven`t gotten to it. I will make sure to read it soon. I miss you guys SO much!

      Like

  2. Amy says:

    Sarah,
    This is utterly beautiful. One day soon, you will take a deep breath of happiness because you’ll realize that you are comfortable and happy in the skin that God created you in. It happens! It sounds like you are getting closer and closer. From another one who used to watch the “in” group longingly–you’re right, even if you were in the midst of them, it wouldn’t feel right to you. You will have your own “in” group, and that’s the one that you are completely comfortable in. Watching the popular group from afar, wishing you were part of them–it reminds me a bit of when I drive through the rich neighborhoods in the city, wondering wistfully what it would be like to live in such grand houses. Whenever I do that, I am reminded gently by the Spirit that God has already given me such abundance. As he has you. I would echo Sonia’s advice above, to read the book “Quiet.” It will give you new confidence and peace in being just who God created you to be.

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    1. Sarah says:

      Thank you so much for the encouragement. I really appreciate the advice, especially since it`s from people I admire so and look up to. Oh, yes. That little creature that whispers in your ear that “if you had this you`d be truly happy.” Yes, I know it well, it`s a difficult task to learn how to chide it away and be happy for those people.

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    2. rita says:

      When you look at grand house, think how much more cleaning and tidying there is to do, and how easy it would be to lose things, like your coffee. 🙂

      Like

      1. Sarah says:

        Ha! that`s one way to look at it. 🙂

        Like

  3. nikki says:

    I love you! We (Cooopers) are so thankful for you being in our lives…just how you are. I can’t imagine anyone else that I would rather have my children watch and be led by. You are so beautiful inside and out with a quiet gentle spirit. You are a part of our group and I think we are all pretty cool;)

    Like

    1. Sarah says:

      Oh, I love you guys SO much! Just seeing you I feel relaxed, and I adore your children.

      Like

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